When I read blogs or tumblrs written by girls who like all the same shit I like, the music and the fashion and the books and movies and TV shows I get so lonely I can actually feel my chest swell with sadness. I wish I had an army of really cool girlfriends in real life that I could hang out with and do crafts and write zines and listen to records and we could all play in my nail polish and try on mini skirts at cheapie juniors shops.
But I don't know any girls like that around here, they all live in major cities and I live amongst the cornfields and cattle. I love the cows, they're really beautiful, and the calves are super cute, but I don't think the cows are going to come over to dance around my living room to Le Tigre.
It's messed up but I get jealous of my lesbian friends, even though I am super privileged and they can't get married and can get gay bashed and I know I'm the lucky one, but I still get jealous because they have this built in community that centers around girls and women and girl culture.
I can't wait for Dan to finish grad school in two years and we can move somewhere where we aren't surrounded by drunk dudes driving riding lawn mowers with their kids in their laps.
Aw, Jessi, I wanna give you a hug! I feel the same way about fellow vegan bloggers, forum posters and nail polish lovers, I want to be able to hang out irl not just online!
ReplyDeleteYou're so sweet! Thank you, I just get really lonely living in the middle of nowhere. Dan is great, but I miss cool girlfriends. I want to move to Portland like everybody else, but Dan has to finish grad school still.
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