Everything's coming up Milhouse

The doctor appointment went really well. My pain is likely just muscle or nerve pain that will heal on it's own, and the lumps are benign fat deposits, which sounds repulsive, but I'll take it over other lump possibilities. Dan and I said at the beginning of all this pain and testing and worrying that when it was all done, either via a clean bill of health, or surgical intervention, I'd get a special treat. Initially the treat was to be Deborah Lippmann Ruby Red Slippers and Lush Lemony Flutter cuticle butter, but the Lush product contains lanolin, and I'm trying to stop buying products with lanolin, because it comes from cute innocent sheepies, so that became a no go, and I started debating what to get instead.

After the doctor we went to Nordstrom to buy Ruby Red Slippers. The little old sales lady started haranguing me, along with the entire rest of the staff (there's no way they don't work on commission) and was like "you have to see this!" and brings me to the Butter London display "we just got this in, it's called Butter and it's from London" (actually, it's called Butter London, and it's from Seattle, WA) "it's Kate Middleton's favorite" (I doubt that's true, I think she was confused because BL named a polish after Kate Middleton, No More Waity Katie, which looks awesome, and I want it a lot.) I managed to shed the sales lady and shop in peace, and got a Butter London polish despite the sales stalking, Victoriana. I also saw an Estee Lauder polish I want, that they were sold out of, called Ultra Violet.

After Nordstrom we stopped at Sally Beauty Supply because I had a $5 off a purchase of $5 or more coupon, so I got China Glaze Avalanche for free.

Here's today's haul

Try and ignore the marks from my grubby mitts. I couldn't stop touching the bottles. And forgive me for disparaging the sales lady, rest assured she got her commission from my sale.

Basic greige

I've got to see a new doctor in the morning, a general surgeon at a fancy pants hospital with beautiful credentials (med school at Brown, internship and residency at Barnes-Jewish/Washington University) who can hopefully tell me why I've been having debilitating stabbing pains in my upper right thigh and hip since November, along with two very small bulging spots in the same area, as thus far my primary care doctor is baffled, and both an ultrasound and a CT scan came back normal. Hopefully he can not only diagnose whatever is the matter, but fix it as well. That would be keen.

But, I've got a fair amount of tattoos, a gold hoop in my nose, my hair is best described as sculptural bedhead most days, and I dress like a 15 year old boy, plus you know, the three shades of teal manicure. None of this is the sort of first impression I want to make with a doctor, as I assume doctors think folks who look like me are faking sick to score drugs. Because I'm paranoid. Even though I don't even drink, or smoke, hell, when I have coffee it can only be quarter-caf or I'm up all night!

So I'm going incognito, wearing a plain black tshirt and girly cardigan to cover my tattoos, smooshing my hair down into some sort of middle aged soccer mom pixie cut thing, and I painted my nails greige. Because the most conservative nail polishes I own are a greige, and a Barbie pink. Greige felt more grown up. (the nose ring stays in though, it's too much of a pain in the tukhus to take out)

So behold, one of the most appropriate manicures you'll ever see on me. Orly Country Club Khaki, on all ten fingers, by itself.

It's a nice shiny cream, and if I sound like I'm not fond of it, then I'm misrepresenting myself. I think it's a really cool color, like old lady pantyhose, which is a nice sort of ugly-pretty. It's just not SPARKLY and EXCITING. But it's still a great color. It was actually the first color I ever saw in photos and went OMG MUST HAVE, as at one point it was a very popular polish. Forgive the smear of leftover teal on the side of my pinky nail, I didn't notice it 'til I looked at the large photos.

Another day, another manicure

Still frazzled from yesterday. So I did what I do when the going gets tough, a really time consuming manicure. The color isn't super accurate, I think it might be from the flash. I'll try to get daylight photos tomorrow.

Base color is Ruby Kisses- Teal Envy, the stripe closest to the cuticle is China Glaze- Techno Teal, and the stripe at the tip is Wet n Wild- Teal of Fortune.

Mrs Claus redux

Took some more photos of last nights manicure. The flash had killed the sparkle a lot, and I managed to catch some daylight today to get better pics so again, here is China Glaze Mrs Claus

You were warned

I had a really bad day. The older I get the less things make proper sense. I turn 30 a week from today, and all I know for certain is that adulthood is oftentimes a pain in the ass, families are complicated, and nail polish can be a magical panacea no matter the problem.

I don't want to get into it too much, but it goes like this, I've been on anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication for a few years now, and while I'm thrilled to no longer have a running third person narrative going on in my head, and it's great to no longer feel the urge to do a fatal Virginia Woolf impression every time I happen upon a body of water, I often feel very bottled up emotionally, like I've got the entire contents of the Oxford English Dictionary stuck in my throat a fair bit of the time.

Today some of those words fell out, and I hurt because those words, while true, hurt someone I love.

I'm also dealing big in regrets, and anger. Regretting the things I've done that hurt others, and being filled with a constant low level anger over the things others have done to hurt me.

I'm thinking of joining an ACoA group (Adult Children of Alcoholics) but I'm hesitant because I'm very much uncomfortable with the 12 step focus on a higher power. I'm a rational atheist by trade, and as far as I'm concerned my higher power is me, as well as being myself that must answer for all my actions. I'm not one to let go and let god. I wish they had secular groups like this. Perhaps I should start one, maybe call it "Rational Atheists Raised by Hippies."

It feels good to write again, even if it's only a snippet. I've got to exorcise that damn dictionary from it's position trying to strangle me.

ANYWAY, LOOK! GLITTER!

China Glaze Mrs Claus from the Holiday 2010 collection

Literally, glitter everywhere. I can't seen to master the cleanup for these sort of polishes, the acetone gets the polish up, but leaves the glitter behind. Perhaps my old friend Google can help.

I love this polish, my husband got it from me for the 5 year anniversary of our first date earlier this month. It's a silver glitter in a pinkish red jelly base. These sort of polishes are my favorite type of polish, this, China Glaze Dorothy Who, Ruby Kisses Ruby Slippers. I want MORE dammit.

 

New camera! Now 125% more awesome (just an estimate)

So I tried to make tortillas, and that ended up being a bust, and I was sadface. So I did my nails, since doing my nails always cheers me up. Then I really really REALLY wanted to take pictures because the manicure was pretty rad, so I had my husband get out the camera we got for Hanukkah and put the batteries in it, since my nails weren't totally dry yet. At first the photos were crisp and in focus, but really sickly yellow tinged, and I was sadface all over again. Then I realized that I'm not necessarily the most tech savvy person, and my flash was off, so the only light was sickly yellow CFLs. I turned on my flash, and things started looking up, except now I had glare. I remembered reading on a nail blog about taping waxed paper over your flash to soften it, so I went to the kitchen for waxed paper. I discovered I had forgotten my waxed paper is unbleached eco friendly hippie crap, so it's brown. I tore off a bit of parchment paper instead and scotch taped it all haphazard over my flash. IT WORKED. Behold, my first nail photos.

Yellow is Orly Lemonade topped with NYX Girls Prismatic Gold, accent nail is Revlon No Shrinking Violet, then a tape mani angled over it with China Glaze Virtual Violet.

I'm pretty sure I won't normally be posting 12 photos, as that's a bit gratuitous (a bit?!) but I was excited, so here you go.

I still don't think I would call this a nail blog though, as I intend to also post about politics, feminism, food, and general angsty pissing and moaning if the mood strikes as well.

Nail Polish Stash aka glitter*barf*splosion

Here's my friend Helmer

Helmer houses my stash. He's from Ikea, and he makes me happy. On top of Helmer I keep my giant bottle of polish remover (Beauty Secrets acetone polish remover,) my polish thinner (Beauty Secrets,) my pure acetone, base and top coats that I was just meh about, and my cleanup supplies (small plate, small angled synthetic paintbrush, and a little plastic tupperware.) Inside Helmer I keep the goods.


Here's the top drawer where I keep reds and pinks, along with nail decals and stickers. I don't have many reds or pinks because I don't often see really interesting unique ones that I totally have to have. If a polish has a star sticker on top it means I haven't worn it yet

And here are my red and pink polishes

First Row L-R
1.China Glaze-Mrs Claus, 2.Response-Frame Sparkle, 3.Orly-Star Spangled, 4.Love My Nails-Crazy For You, 5.Love My Nails-Bright Star,  6.Love My Nails-Merlot, 7.Arissa-Red Signal, 8.Wet n Wild-Tickled Pink
Second Row L-R
1.Ruby Kisses-Ruby Slippers, 2.Lacura-Classic Red, 3.Studio M-Slamming Red, 4.Zoya-Kalmia, 5.Essie-Jag-U-Are, 6.Wet n Wild-Glitz, 7.elf-Fair Pink, 8.elf-Red Velvet


Here's the second drawer, yellows and oranges. I like yellows and oranges a lot, but they're harder to find

And here are the yellow and orange polishes, I think you're probably starting to see how this is going

First Row L-R
1.Zoya-Tanzy,  2.Zoya-Penny, 3.Orly-Glitz, 4.Orly-Orange Punch, 5.Orly-Lemonade, 6.China Glaze-Celtic Sun
Second Row L-R
1.Sinful Colors-All About You, 2.Love My Nails-Hot Tamale, 3.Wet n Wild-Sunny Side Up, 4.Pure Ice-Unzip Me, 5.Essie-Haute as Hello, 6.LA Colors-Shock


Now come my greens. Greens are my favorite, so I have a bunch

 see!

First Row L-R
1.Zoya-Shawn, 2.Zoya-Apple, 3.Zoya-Ivanka, 4.Zoya-Midori, 5.Zoya-Southbeach Ice, 6.Zoya-Envy, 7.Zoya-Suvi, 8.NYX Girls-Sour Lime, 9.NYX Girls-Enchanted Forest
Second Row L-R
1.Wet n Wild-Teal of Fortune, 2.Wet n Wild-Morbid, 3.Wet n Wild-Caribbean Frost, 4.OPI-Green-Wich Villiage, 5.OPI-Gargantuan Green Grape, 6.OPI-Dazzle Me, 7.Orly-Meet Me Under the Mistletoe, 8.Orly-It's Not Rocket Science, 9.Orly-Wandering Vine
Third Row L-R
1.China Glaze-Peace on Earth, 2.China Glaze-Zombie Zest, 3.Ruby Kisses-Neon Green, 4.Hard Candy-Sweet P, 5.Sinful Colors-San Francisco, 6.Response-Jade, 7.Response-Emerald Sparkle, 8.Studio M-Lost in the Forrest, 9.Love My Nails-Envy
Fourth Row L-R
1.Essie-Mint Candy Apple, 2.Milani-Dress Maker, 3.LA Girl-Crowd Surfing, 4.LA Colors-Current


Blue

First Row L-R
1.MAC-Spirit of Truth, 2.Ruby Kisses-Teal Envy, 3.Ruby Kisses-Deal With the Devil, 4.Ruby Kisses-Baby Blue, 5.China Glaze-Techno Teal, 6.China Glaze-Blue Sparrow, 7.China Glaze-Dorothy Who, 8.China Glaze-For Audrey, 9.China Glaze-Midnight Mission
Second Row L-R
1.LA Colors-Jungle Fever, 2.LA Colors-Radiation, 3.LA Colors-Wired, 4.Zoya-Breezi, 5.Zoya-Crystal, 6.Milani-Cyberspace, 7.Nina Ultra Pro-In A Tiff, 8.Studio M-Whose That Girl, 9.Essence-Underwater, 10.Pure Ice-A List
Third Row L-R
1.OPI-No Room for the Blues, 2.Wet n Wild-Blue Moon, 3.Wet n Wild-Saved by the Blue, 4.Wet n Wild-Blue Wants to be a Millionaire, 5.Wet n Wild-Nocturnal, 6.Sinful Colors-Deep Blue Ocean, 7.Hard Candy-Sky, 8.Love My Nails-Violet are Blue, 9.Essie-Mesmerize

Purple- lately I keep buying purples, I think they're catching up to green to possibly someday tie for favorite. My camera, like most cameras, wasn't super color accurate capturing purples, so google around if you're unsure what something looks like, because this photo, it likely won't tell you

First Row L-R
1.Zoya-Adina, 2.Zoya-Faye, 3.Arissa-Rockin' Amethyst, 4.Nicole by OPI-Virtuous Violet, 5.Love My Nails-All That, 6.Revlon-Perplex, 7.Revlon-No Shrinking Violet, 8.China Glaze-Virtual Violet
Second Row L-R
1.Wet n Wild-Eggplant Frost, 2.Wet n Wild-Gray's Anatomy, 3.Hard Candy-Beetle, 4.Color Club-Wild at Heart, 5.Essie-Lilacism, 6.Orly-Charged Up, 7.Pure Ice-Busted, 8.Pure Ice-Cheatin'
Third Row L-R
1.LA Colors-Amethyst, 2.Milani-Hi-Res, 3.Nina Ultra Pro-Purple-Xing, 4.Sinful Colors-Daddy's Girl, 5.Sinful Colors-I Love You


Now here's the jumble drawer, The jumble drawer has neutrals, your blacks, whites, greys, beiges, it has precious metals, silvers, golds, coppers. it has my crackles, it has multi, holo, and iridescent glitters, and it has various glitters in black jelly bases. Behold, the odd ones out

We can start with the neutrals

First Row L-R
1.Studio M-French Tip, 2.Revlon-Matte Suede Powder Puff, 3.Revlon-Silver(which is very much a light grey, not a silver at all,) 4.Revlon-Stormy
Second Row L-R
1.Zoya-Kelly, 2.Orly-Liquid Vinyl, 3.Orly-Country Club Khaki, 4.elf-Chocolate

My China Glaze crackles

 L-R
1.Crushed Candy, 2.Fault Line, 3.Cracked Concrete, 4.Lightening Bolt, 5.Black Mesh

Metals

First Row L-R
1.Ruby Kisses-Steel Magnolia, 2.China Glaze-Hologram, 3.Zoya-Laney, 4.Wet n Wild-Steel, 5.LA Colors-Silver Glitter, 6.Revlon-Steel-Her Heart, 7.Revlon-Gold Get 'Em
Second Row L-R
1.Response-Moonbeam Gold, 2.NYX Girls-Prismatic Gold, 3.Wet n Wild-Rustic

Black jelly glitters

First Row L-R
1.NYX Girls-Deep Space, 2.NYX Girls-Collection Noir, 3.NYX Girls-Robotic, 4.NYX Girls-Frizzy Spots
Second Row L-R
1.Milani-Spellbinding, 2.OPI-My Private Jet (yes, it's the original, it's probably the most sought after polish I own,) 3.Sinful Colors-What's Your Name, 4.Wet n Wild-Night Prowl

And now the raddest sort of polishes, multi, holo, and iridescent glitters in clear bases. I'm a magpie, I swear

First Row L-R
1.Milani-Gems (original without pink glitter,) 2.Deborah Lippman-Happy Birthday(!!!) 3. Revlon-Star, 4.Nicole by OPI-Bring on the Tinsel
Second Row L-R
1.Wet n Wild-Kaleidoscope,  2.Studio M-Magic Attraction, 3.Love My Nails-Crystal, 4.Love My Nails-Angel Baby


So that's my stash. This took for-freakin'-ever, but it was fun. For the curious, Studio M is a store brand for Meijer, a WalMart type store in the US Midwest, but the polishes are made by Forsythe Cosmetic Group, the company that makes Color Club. Some of the shade names are identical, and some shades are the same but with different names, for instance I'm almost 100% positive that Studio M-Whose That Girl is the same as Color Club-Take Me To Your Chateau.

My photos are not the best, my camera is not good. My husband and I got a camera from his parents for Hanukkah that we haven't tried out yet (we're a.lazy, b.technologically deficient), I'm hoping it works better, if it does I'm going to try to start doing swatch photos, which I think is exciting, I hope you do too.

As a bonus for making it all the way down this far on the post, a picture of my dog, Pogo. He's the best

His face is squooshy because he was sleeping.