Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Basic greige

I've got to see a new doctor in the morning, a general surgeon at a fancy pants hospital with beautiful credentials (med school at Brown, internship and residency at Barnes-Jewish/Washington University) who can hopefully tell me why I've been having debilitating stabbing pains in my upper right thigh and hip since November, along with two very small bulging spots in the same area, as thus far my primary care doctor is baffled, and both an ultrasound and a CT scan came back normal. Hopefully he can not only diagnose whatever is the matter, but fix it as well. That would be keen.

But, I've got a fair amount of tattoos, a gold hoop in my nose, my hair is best described as sculptural bedhead most days, and I dress like a 15 year old boy, plus you know, the three shades of teal manicure. None of this is the sort of first impression I want to make with a doctor, as I assume doctors think folks who look like me are faking sick to score drugs. Because I'm paranoid. Even though I don't even drink, or smoke, hell, when I have coffee it can only be quarter-caf or I'm up all night!

So I'm going incognito, wearing a plain black tshirt and girly cardigan to cover my tattoos, smooshing my hair down into some sort of middle aged soccer mom pixie cut thing, and I painted my nails greige. Because the most conservative nail polishes I own are a greige, and a Barbie pink. Greige felt more grown up. (the nose ring stays in though, it's too much of a pain in the tukhus to take out)

So behold, one of the most appropriate manicures you'll ever see on me. Orly Country Club Khaki, on all ten fingers, by itself.

It's a nice shiny cream, and if I sound like I'm not fond of it, then I'm misrepresenting myself. I think it's a really cool color, like old lady pantyhose, which is a nice sort of ugly-pretty. It's just not SPARKLY and EXCITING. But it's still a great color. It was actually the first color I ever saw in photos and went OMG MUST HAVE, as at one point it was a very popular polish. Forgive the smear of leftover teal on the side of my pinky nail, I didn't notice it 'til I looked at the large photos.


  1. Oh my god, it's *exactly* like old lady pantyhose. Horrifying, and yet...kinda compelling in a weird way. I hope the doctor visit went well.

  2. That's how I feel about it, it's both hideous, and amazing. I should paint in little blue varicose veins.

    And you know how the Dr went from facebook, so I'll just make a :) at you!